“Why Does It Hurt When I Pee” is a song by American musician Frank Zappa, released on his 1981 album You Are What You Is. The song is a satirical take on the popular topic of urinary tract infections, with Zappa using humorous lyrics and a playful musical style to mock the discomfort and embarrassment associated with the condition.

Urinary tract infections, also known as UTIs, are a common type of infection that can affect the urinary system. They are most often caused by bacteria that enter the urinary tract through the urethra and can lead to symptoms such as painful urination, frequent urges to urinate, and discomfort in the lower abdomen. UTIs are more common in women than in men, and are often treated with antibiotics.

In “Why Does It Hurt When I Pee,” Zappa uses a variety of humorous and absurdist techniques to poke fun at the subject of UTIs. The song begins with a spoken-word intro in which Zappa advises the listener to “take two aspirins and call the doctor in the morning” if they experience pain while urinating. The lyrics of the song itself are filled with double entendres and puns, with Zappa singing lines such as “It’s a pain in the bladder / That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout” and “It’s a real drag when your weiner gets a cramp.”

Musically, the song is characterized by Zappa’s signature blend of rock, jazz, and avant-garde influences. The arrangement features a driving rhythm section, jazzy guitar and keyboard solos, and a playful horn section that adds to the overall lighthearted tone of the song.

Despite its humorous subject matter, “Why Does It Hurt When I Pee” is a well-crafted and musically sophisticated composition that showcases Zappa’s unique talents as a songwriter and musician. The song remains a fan favorite and is often performed live by Zappa tribute bands.